So the last 48 - 72 hours have been quite difficult for me and for my family. You see, I did something on my birthday that has had some devastating consequences. I don't know if I will ever be able to make it up to my husband or to my children. I know they are ashamed and they are embarassed. You see, on my birthday, I went to a German restaurant and I drank beer. Yes, you read that right. I drank beer. Watered down, German beer. One liter of barley and hops. If truth be known, The mug was made of glass and very thick. I don't think it was truly 1 liter of beer. What makes it worse for my family is the fact that my friends took a picture of us with our 1 liter mugs and posted it on Facebook. Yes, posted it for all to see that in my 44th year of life I was drinking beer in a public setting. I even had a very good time drinking the beer with my friends. We met some people from Germany who sat next to us and drank beer as well. They were asking about Las Vegas and telling us about their travels in the good ole USA. It was a fun evening sharing the music, food, and customs of Germany with old friends and new friends. It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had.
Fast forward a few days later. I receive a text from church saying, " We have seen your Facebook post from your birthday. Parents have called in to the church office. We need to talk." Talk about what? Talk about the post on Facebook? Talk about the fact that I drink beer on occasion. Talk about how parents are disturbed by my friends post on Facebook? Talk about how I am teaching the youth of our church and Sunday School? I decided from the start that I was guilty of nothing. But I knew in my heart of hearts that there would be a suggestion about what to post and what not to post on Facebook. I knew there would be a discussion about how in ministry we have to conduct ourselves in a certain way. I knew there would be a discussion about how parents and church members view these things. Rather than have a discussion about my actions, I chose to step away from my role of teaching the youth and my Sunday school class.
You see, I received a text after I resigned that would change how I felt about things. In the text from a church member it was mentioned that I was used as an example. You see, the family told their children that the picture on Facebook was a perfect example of what NOT to post on Facebook. In the text they went on to say that they were heartbroken over my choices. It was suggested that I contact parents and humbly apologize for my actions. If I did that I could move on and be forgiven. They go on to say how they saw the post, their heart sank and felt so disappointed in me. However, they had forgiven me and we could move on. I received another text message from another church member stating it would be good for me to seek repentance and forgiveness from the Lord for my mistakes. I am held to a higher standard than others because of the fact that i teach children and youth. It is good to cleanse myself of my sins and move on. This same church member liked the post on Facebook.
I have to address this because I feel it is important. First of all, I did not commit a sin. I drank a beer on my birthday. I DID NOT get drunk. I ate dinner at a leisurely pace and had dessert and talked with my friends. I had a really good time. You see, my husband did not join us. He had to work the night of my birthday. He knew what we were doing and told me to go and enjoy and have fun. I did. What I don't understand is what sin I committed. It has been mentioned that the picture says "Hey look at me and all this beer I am about to consume!" It has also been mentioned that I was living my life on Facebook. I was not hiding, I was not ashamed, I was not sneaking. That is true. I was not hiding. I was out with friends celebrating my birthday. No, my friend did not post the picture with the intent of showing the world how much beer we were drinking. The picture was posted to show two good friends celebrating a moment in the life of another friend.
Many Christians choose not to drink. I respect that. Completely. I do drink. Do I drink every day? No. I drink on occasion. I drink on special occasions. Do I get drunk? NEVER. Jesus turned water into wine. Wine was served at special occasions in the Bible. God does state that to get drunk is a sin. I get that. What I don't understand is how judgement gets passed from one person to another. Why have we become so judgmental of one another as Christians?
The only conclusion that I have come to from the last 48 - 72 hours is that we are all human. None of us is perfect. I think the only mistake I made was allowing myself to believe that I was living my life as I always had. That I would be safe living my life and that I was free from being judged by others who attended the same church as I did. I know for a fact that many church members drink from time to time. Not to get drunk but because an occasional glass of wine is good. I don't understand what I did was so wrong.
If the parents who called the church office were truly concerned about what I did, why did they not contact me personally? Why did they not approach me and share their concerns with me? I would have eagerly sat down with them to discuss the matter. I would have shared with them about my culture and how I was raised. I would also share with them that I understand their concerns but that I do not drink to get drunk, I do it only on occasion and that I was celebrating my birthday. I would never hide who I am. If they were concerned about their children I would again show that I understand. I do not drink during church hours and I would never drink in front of their children. I would also be happy to share a meal with them and not have alcohol with them. I would respect their views on living life without alcohol.
I have further learned that there have been church members who have been gossiping about me at my place of work. I don't know what has been said. I do know that it has made coworkers very uncomfortable. What I don't understand is why? Why are you doing this at my place of work? What have I ever done to deserve this? What is it that I could have done that you feel the need to gossip about me in my place of work? I LOVE where I work. I LOVE what I do. Work for me has always been my safe haven. It is a place where I can focus and do what I love to do. It is my escape from the every day. I can honestly say that I have NEVER spoken badly or gossiped about a fellow church member. NEVER. I choose to live my life in a way that I would be proud of. I have had friends who have confided in me. I have had friends who have shared with me their fears, their sorrows and their disappointments. I have never shared any of it with anybody. So again, I have to ask why would someone feel that it is appropriate to gossip about me at my place of work?
Again, we as humans are not perfect. Far from it. We make mistakes. We learn from it and we move on. That is human nature. God understood that. He sacrificed His only son on the cross because he knew that as humans we could not be perfect. Jesus died on the cross for us and our sins. He forgives us. He knows our hearts and he knows how much we love Him. He knows that there are going to be times that we don't live our lives exactly as we should. Time and time again, he welcomes us with open arms and cradles us with love, mercy and forgiveness. It is an awesome thought and one in which I hold close to my heart each and every day. I live for that fact that no matter what happens in this life, I will always have Jesus. I love Him and I live for Him every day. Do I do everything as I should? No. Do I make mistakes every day? Yes. Do I let it stop me from living my life day to day? No. I get up every day knowing that it is a new day and that I end my day knowing that I have done the very best I can for that day. I also know that there is room for improvement. God knows it. He is there and He walks with us every step of the way. Nothing in my life is as important as my walk with the Lord. In the end, I will stand before God and I will answer to Him for the choices I have made. It is the day I am looking forward to. Because in the end, I know I have lived my life with no regrets other than the fact that all I tried to do was to live my life as best as I could and I tried to please the Lord with my thoughts and my actions each and every day.
